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The New Don't Blame Mother: Mending the Mother-Daughter Relationship, by Paula Caplan
Ebook The New Don't Blame Mother: Mending the Mother-Daughter Relationship, by Paula Caplan
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First Published in 2000. Routledge is an imprint of Taylor & Francis, an informa company.
- Sales Rank: #1023725 in Books
- Color: White
- Published on: 2000
- Released on: 2000-05-11
- Original language: English
- Number of items: 1
- Dimensions: 11.69" h x .73" w x 8.26" l, .83 pounds
- Binding: Paperback
- 288 pages
From Publishers Weekly
At least since Freud, mothers have borne the brunt of blame for many of their family members' personal problems, defects and failures. But even cynics may be stunned by Caplan's documentation of a mother who was labeled "hysterical" and lost custody of her children after she accused their father of sexually abusing them. Many such injustices are highlighted in this edition, substantially revised from the 1988 original, building a solid case for Caplan's claim of widespread "mother-blaming." As cultural scapegoats, mothers are often viewed and treated by influential "experts" as unstable, emotionally needy, selflessly giving, smothering and tyrannically powerful. Caplan outlines 10 pervasive myths wherein all mothers are deemed either "perfect" or "bad," a double bind perhaps best illustrated by the myth that both working and stay-at-home moms are somehow "wrong." Fathers are in for a bit of culpability here, but Caplan doesn't offer many solutions for the problems that people often blame on their mothers. Instead, she concentrates on political arguments and rehabilitating the mother-daughter relationship itself. She encourages the daughter to "demythologize" her mother and forge an alliance by, among other things, drawing out her mother's life story and finding qualities to respect in her. Though some of the author's suggestions, including her "expressive training" in which mothers and daughters resolve problems through role-playing, may be simplistic, Caplan effectively articulates an indisputable societal offense and offers the first steps toward its remedy. (May)
Copyright 2000 Reed Business Information, Inc.
From Library Journal
In this revision of her 1989 book of the same title, Caplan, a clinical and research psychologist, examines the pervasiveness of mother-blame in society and identifies ten myths surrounding motherhood (e.g., "good mothers" don't get angry). She takes an especially close look at the role psychologists and therapists have played in promoting these myths. The book's second half makes suggestions for improving relationships between mothers and adult daughters through honest communication and a rejection of the myths. Certainly, readers will question some of Caplan's views of women and mothers: she seems to overlook many healthy, thriving mother-daughter relationships, and not all readers will agree that the myth of male superiority is as widespread as the author suggests. Nevertheless, this work is well researched, with extensive notes and suggestions for improving relationships. Recommended for public libraries.
-Kay Brodie, Chesapeake Coll., Wye Mills, MD
Copyright 2000 Reed Business Information, Inc.
Review
"The best way to bond with your mother.."
-Self Magazine, July 2001
Most helpful customer reviews
9 of 10 people found the following review helpful.
good reading
By romy
For once someone isn't looking to scape goat the female parent as has always been done in the past. Yes, moms make mistakes but adult daughters need to stop listening to Fraudism entirely and always blaming mom for everything. Helps moms understand their kids better to. Good read
8 of 9 people found the following review helpful.
The New Don't Blame Mother Mending Mother-Daughter Relationship
By gkirk214
This is the best book I've read on healing the relationship with Mother-Daughter! Great Great Book! However, this book needs to have an additional book with a title for healing the Mother-Son relationship or Healing the Mother Daughter and Son relationship. Every Man and Son needs to read this book but they won't due to the title. We need to heal Son's as well as Daughter's relationship and stop the blamming toward the one who loved us the most. I hope the Author Paula Caplan gets this information as I have not found a way to contact her.
Thanks gail
3 of 3 people found the following review helpful.
Words can not express...
By Oma
Every once in a while a book or movie comes along that changes your whole life and how you choose to live. This book has done that for me. There is nothing worse than not being able to change something important in your life and on top of that, not knowing why! Now that the "why" is answered I can prepare myself for what comes next.
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