Free PDF '...And Then I Became Gay': Young Men's Stories, by Ritch C. Savin-Williams
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'...And Then I Became Gay': Young Men's Stories, by Ritch C. Savin-Williams
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"...And Then I Became Gay is about the lives of young men who express the complications, adversities, and satisfactions of being a sexual outsider in North America during the 1980s and 1990s. Consisting of narratives which chronicle developmental progression from first memories of being attracted to other males to a subsequent integration of their sexual identity with a personal identity, this book is also unique in its cross-section of men from different ethnic backgrounds. Although each story in this volume has a personal meaning to the individual youth disclosing it, aspects of these narratives can express a normative experience growing up gay or bisexual during the past two decades. For many of the contributors and readers, these stories may prove to be not only ones of coming out, but coming of age.
- Sales Rank: #865730 in Books
- Published on: 1997-10-22
- Released on: 1998-01-29
- Original language: English
- Number of items: 1
- Dimensions: 9.00" h x .60" w x 6.00" l, .79 pounds
- Binding: Paperback
- 264 pages
From Library Journal
This thoughtful, well-researched study provides a fresh perspective on the formative years of contemporary gay and bisexual males in our society. Savin-Williams (clinical psychology, Cornell Univ.) postulates that although their experiences have some distinct similarities, they are complemented by "differential developmental trajectories." This individuation is illuminated by the "young men's stories," drawn from interviews with 180 men aged 14 to 25 years, which enrich the text. These graphic and poignant reminiscences recount such developmental milestones as awareness and acceptance of a gay or bisexual identity, initial sexual experiences (both homo- and heterosexual), and the coming-out process, as well as delving into issues faced by youths who are both cultural and sexual minorities. Although the book is essentially a scholarly treatise, the sensitive treatment and personal narratives will appeal to well-informed lay readers. Recommended for academic and special collections in gay studies, human sexuality, and psychology and optional for larger public libraries.?Richard Violette, Social Law Lib., Boston
Copyright 1998 Reed Business Information, Inc.
Review
"He demolishes the existing stereotypes of gay male development and replaces these stereotypes with real life stories."
-"The Ottawa Citizen
"It is fascinating to read the personal narratives of gay and bisexual youth in this thoughtful, spirited, stimulating study of their lives and development."
-Richard A. Isay, M.D., author of "Being Homosexual and "Being Gay
"It is through stories, our own and others, that we organize and give meaning to our lives and reveal the richness and diversity of human experience. It is also the best way of breaking through the crust of sexual and gender stereotypes. Professor Savin-Williams has provided the invaluable opportunity for the reader to hear the stories of gay and bisexual youth and, in doing so, he has dispelled popular myths about childhood sexual 'innocence' (as if no experience is better than some) and that pre-adult sex can only be abusive and traumatic. In letting gay youth speak for itself he has opened the way for all youth of all sexual persuasions, to reclaim and give meaning to their own sexuality."
-John P. De Cecco, Center For Research & Education in Sexuality
"Recommended for academic and special collections in gay studies, human sexuality, and psychology."
-"Library Journal
"This thoughtful, well-researched study provides a fresh perspective on the formative years of contemporary gay and bisexual males in our society. . . . Although the book is essentially a scholarly treatise, the sensitive treatment and personal narratives will appeal to well-informed lay readers. Recommended for academic and special collections in gay studies, human sexuality, and psychology."
-"Library Journal
About the Author
Ritch C. Savin-Williams is Professor of Clinical and Developmental Psychology at Cornell University. He is co-editor of The Lives of Lesbians, Gays, and Bisexuals: Children to Adults (1996).
Most helpful customer reviews
10 of 11 people found the following review helpful.
A good and informative book
By A Customer
This is a good book that should teach you a lot about the development and experiences of gay and bisexual young men, from childhood to young adulthood. The author interviewed a number gay and bisexual young men and throughout the text he includes exerpts from his interviews, which add more 'proof' and 'reality' to the text itself. The only bad thing might be that his sample was pretty limited - mostly college students at Cornell University. It's more of a textbook than anything else, but it still makes a very interesting read.
1 of 1 people found the following review helpful.
Highly readable, clear, thoughtful, helpful....
By David C. Young
Savin-Williams's book, though a dozen years old, remains a good, highly readable starting point, with caveats. Savin-Williams presents a clear developmental trajectory for what he calls "sexual minority" kids: memories of same-sex atractions, labeling feelings and attractions, first gay sex, first heterosexual sex, labeling self as gay/bisexual, disclosure to others, first gay romance, and positive identity. Within each category he gives the diversity of when and how sexual minority youths -- all boys, and I believe all Cornell College students -- achieved or didn't/hadn't yet achieved these "milestones". In particular he shows similarities and differences between boys and young men who achieved them during childhood, early adolescence, middle adolescence and young adulthood. He then compares/contrasts the experiences of white males with those of ethnic young men. So far, a fairly clear, fairly traditional approach to developmental history: here is a "separate" or at least a somewhat distinct category -- gay & bisexual boys/young men. Here's how they develop. Sadly -- my first caveat -- this is a "traditional" approach, using only boys/men, one not overturned until the late 1970's with Carol Gilligan's In a Different Voice: Psychological Theory and Women's Development. I'm not sure why Savin-Williams only studied gay/bi young men. (He may have mentioned this somewhere in the book; I don't recall.) It may have been a funding issue, or simply accepting that female sexual development, including female sexual minority development, tends to be quite different in many ways. Savin-Williams has written books on gay AND lesbian youth, as a category, including his more-recent, 2007 The New Gay Teenager (Adolescent Lives). (More about this book later in the review.)
His writing and categories are unforced and useful. The end-of-chapter summaries are to-the-point, and they make for good re-freshers, quite important in a psychotherapy practice like mine where I see gay-les-bi teens/young adults more occasionally, at least as they self-identify to me. Admirably, he really lets the young men tell their stories, so you don't just get categories, but a sense of real lives. And these categories appear to lift out useful stages in the lives of this particular cohort: young men who experienced adolescence in the 1990's or, perhaps, late 1980's. The general quality of this book is such I could even recommend it to parents of gay teens who are readers for a "starter". It's that free of pscyhobabble jargon.
While Savin-Williams does contrast his developmental trajectory a bit, in the next-to-last chapter, with minority youth -- another useful, helpful addition -- the real kicker is in the last chapter. And it's a very good chapter, one which foreshadows not only the work of his later book -- The New Gay Teenager -- but also the developing lives of our current crop of sexual mintority youth, those who came of age in the late 1990's and early 21st century. And this is clearly a different cohort with different experiences of themselves and their world.
In his last chapter, "The Diversity of Gay Youth", Savin-Williams comes out of the closet, academically as a developmental psychologist: "A singular or normative developmental lifestyle for gay/bisexual youths simply does not exist. Those who advocate such a position are usually adherents to a straight versus gay psychology. This approach might satisfy those who desire to draw attention to either the 'Look, we are just like them!' assimilationists or the 'We are different from them!' separatists, but it also results in a misrepresentation of gay/bisexual [male] life. No two lives are identical, nor are two lives irrevocably distinct. Both concepts should be assumed concurrently...."
This leads to his presenting what Savin-Williams calls "differential developmental trajectories", perhaps this book's most important kind of developmental understanding, certainly the one most clearly and intensely relevant to today's sexual minority youth -- gay-les-bi or whatever. And even that term, "sexual minority youth", may be increasingly failing to capture current realities of US youth and their sexual fanasies, attractions, behaviors and identities, such as they identify themselves at all by what an old guy like me was taught to call their "sexuality". This last thought might be startling. But consider: if you're straight, however you define that, is that a major way you think about yourself? Or do you just understand that as being sexual, only one aspect of your life? That, certainly, is more true of me. Much more key to my identity are my roles as husband, father and grandfather, my roles as a psychotherapist.
Now the caveats. I've already alluded to what seems pretty clear in the research: today's sexual minority youth are experiencing themselves and their world as quite different, including their sexual coming-of-age, from those of 20 years earlier. Another caveat is that Savin-Williams has surprisingly little to contrast his sexual minority youth development to. There's much less work done on what "normal" or "straight" youth, of any cohort, experience. Savin-Williams discusses this more at-length in "The New Gay Teenager". This later book develops his idea of differential developmental trajectories, with closer attention to the strengths and, especially, the weaknesses of that research and of all sexual development/sexuality research, other than the obvious point, that many people have trouble remembering what happened years ago, and even more difficulty being honest about it.
So why buy this book, and not just move on to "The New Gay Teenager"? Savin-Williams is doing a workshop in Denver, near where I live, and I chose that as an opportunity to read his books. And I'm glad I read both books. This book, "And Then I Became Gay", is quite helpful. Its developmental categories sensitized me to useful steps in questioning not just sexual mintority youth, but all youth, and how early to start my questioning. I found it an easy and a memorable read, complimenting his later book. And I'm finding myself being just a bit sharper in one important aspect of my work with difficult, hurting children and teens. For that, I'm grateful. Because of that, I heartily recommend this book, as well as his "The New Gay Teenager", if you're a psychotherapist working with children, teens and young adults.
0 of 0 people found the following review helpful.
Highly readable, clear, thoughtful, helpful....
By David C. Young
Savin-Williams's book, though a dozen years old, remains a good, highly readable starting point, with caveats. Savin-Williams presents a clear developmental trajectory for what he calls "sexual minority" kids: memories of same-sex atractions, labeling feelings and attractions, first gay sex, first heterosexual sex, labeling self as gay/bisexual, disclosure to others, first gay romance, and positive identity. Within each category he gives the diversity of when and how sexual minority youths -- all boys, and I believe all Cornell College students -- achieved or didn't/hadn't yet achieved these "milestones". In particular he shows similarities and differences between boys and young men who achieved them during childhood, early adolescence, middle adolescence and young adulthood. He then compares/contrasts the experiences of white males with those of ethnic young men. So far, a fairly clear, fairly traditional approach to developmental history: here is a "separate" or at least a somewhat distinct category -- gay & bisexual boys/young men. Here's how they develop. Sadly -- my first caveat -- this is a "traditional" approach, using only boys/men, one not overturned until the late 1970's with Carol Gilligan's In a Different Voice: Psychological Theory and Women's Development. I'm not sure why Savin-Williams only studied gay/bi young men. (He may have mentioned this somewhere in the book; I don't recall.) It may have been a funding issue, or simply accepting that female sexual development, including female sexual minority development, tends to be quite different in many ways. Savin-Williams has written books on gay AND lesbian youth, as a category, including his more-recent, 2007 The New Gay Teenager (Adolescent Lives). (More about this book later in the review.)
His writing and categories are unforced and useful. The end-of-chapter summaries are to-the-point, and they make for good re-freshers, quite important in a psychotherapy practice like mine where I see gay-les-bi teens/young adults more occasionally, at least as they self-identify to me. Admirably, he really lets the young men tell their stories, so you don't just get categories, but a sense of real lives. And these categories appear to lift out useful stages in the lives of this particular cohort: young men who experienced adolescence in the 1990's or, perhaps, late 1980's. The general quality of this book is such I could even recommend it to parents of gay teens who are readers for a "starter". It's that free of pscyhobabble jargon.
While Savin-Williams does contrast his developmental trajectory a bit, in the next-to-last chapter, with minority youth -- another useful, helpful addition -- the real kicker is in the last chapter. And it's a very good chapter, one which foreshadows not only the work of his later book -- The New Gay Teenager -- but also the developing lives of our current crop of sexual mintority youth, those who came of age in the late 1990's and early 21st century. And this is clearly a different cohort with different experiences of themselves and their world.
In his last chapter, "The Diversity of Gay Youth", Savin-Williams comes out of the closet, academically as a developmental psychologist: "A singular or normative developmental lifestyle for gay/bisexual youths simply does not exist. Those who advocate such a position are usually adherents to a straight versus gay psychology. This approach might satisfy those who desire to draw attention to either the 'Look, we are just like them!' assimilationists or the 'We are different from them!' separatists, but it also results in a misrepresentation of gay/bisexual [male] life. No two lives are identical, nor are two lives irrevocably distinct. Both concepts should be assumed concurrently...."
This leads to his presenting what Savin-Williams calls "differential developmental trajectories", perhaps this book's most important kind of developmental understanding, certainly the one most clearly and intensely relevant to today's sexual minority youth -- gay-les-bi or whatever. And even that term, "sexual minority youth", may be increasingly failing to capture current realities of US youth and their sexual fanasies, attractions, behaviors and identities, such as they identify themselves at all by what an old guy like me was taught to call their "sexuality". This last thought might be startling. But consider: if you're straight, however you define that, is that a major way you think about yourself? Or do you just understand that as being sexual, only one aspect of your life? That, certainly, is more true of me. Much more key to my identity are my roles as husband, father and grandfather, my roles as a psychotherapist.
Now the caveats. I've already alluded to what seems pretty clear in the research: today's sexual minority youth are experiencing themselves and their world as quite different, including their sexual coming-of-age, from those of 20 years earlier. Another caveat is that Savin-Williams has surprisingly little to contrast his sexual minority youth development to. There's much less work done on what "normal" or "straight" youth, of any cohort, experience. Savin-Williams discusses this more at-length in "The New Gay Teenager". This later book develops his idea of differential developmental trajectories, with closer attention to the strengths and, especially, the weaknesses of that research and of all sexual development/sexuality research, other than the obvious point, that many people have trouble remembering what happened years ago, and even more difficulty being honest about it.
So why buy this book, and not just move on to "The New Gay Teenager"? Savin-Williams is doing a workshop in Denver, near where I live, and I chose that as an opportunity to read his books. And I'm glad I read both books. This book, "And Then I Became Gay", is quite helpful. Its developmental categories sensitized me to useful steps in questioning not just sexual mintority youth, but all youth, and how early to start my questioning. I found it an easy and a memorable read, complimenting his later book. And I'm finding myself being just a bit sharper in one important aspect of my work with difficult, hurting children and teens. For that, I'm grateful. Because of that, I heartily recommend this book, as well as his "The New Gay Teenager", if you're a psychotherapist working with children, teens and young adults.
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